Dealing With an Alcoholic Husband

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Dear Sharon,

My heart really goes out to you. I had a father who was a real beer drinker and my mom was a tea totler.. We all begged him for years to quit drinking beer to no avail. Then one day his health was affected and he stopped cold turkey. He wouldn't do it for his family, but he did it for himself. I really think that the alcohol desensitized him so much he had no idea how much he was hurting us. He did love us and we loved him dearly, but not his drinking.

The first suggestion I would like to give you is to gather with your two teenagers daily, join hands and pray to God that your husband's problems will be revealed to himself. He is the last one to see it and the last one to admit it. There is power in prayer and just praying together will be a strong force to strengthen your family. Please try this. It makes them feel so much better to know they are loved that much. That way they will learn the power of the Spirit.

You are going to have to ask God to see you through this one day at a time, one hour at a time and some days one minute at a time. You need to claim His promises and trust Him to give you the guidance you need. Stay in the Psalms and cry your prayers to the Lord. I know you want to save your marriage but it will take time. You are going to have to change your thought process and it will be costly. You see as the mom, you are the one that has the most power to keep your family together. You are going to have to be the one to die to self in order to give life to your family (Romans 12:1)

I know it doesn't seem fair that you have to be the one to sacrifice when your husband is the one causing the problem. You see you have the advantage because in order to get through the day you are going to have to be in God's Word first thing to put your armor on. If you are in the Word of God, you will generally be in the will of God. Your husband does not have that blessing. He is living in total disobedience and doesn't have a clue. He is existing in the flesh but not the Spirit and the Spirit cannot get to him because he numbs himself with alcohol. That is why you have got to pray that God will somehow make his beer seem repulsive in his mouth and he will want to rid himself of it. With God all things are possible. I am not saying you will get the results you want but You will receive the peace of God because you have done everything possible to save your marriage.

You have done everything you know how to do, now let God have a turn. Turn your husband completely over to Him and let God have His way. You cannot beat a dead horse, it isn't going anywhere.

Also consider joining a support group with the kids and that way you will be better prepared on how to handle the situation. There are support groups in every town so if you do not want to go where you are known, travel to another city. You need help! Forget your pride and do what is best for your family. It will be revealed sooner or later and God will not be mocked. Your husband's sin will be found out one way or another. Please remember that alcoholism is an illness and has to be treated as one. Try to meet your husband where he is at, but don't let him bring you and your family down. You have to get help so you can keep your family together. Your family will definitely be in my prayers.